sore feet

Today it was not a good idea to wear heels. When I put them on this morning, I remember thinking such, but deciding they were pretty cute and I’d get over it. Oh man, did my feet ache!! I could barely walk by the end of the day. Not to self: on days when doing pastoral care all day, DO NOT WEAR HEELS!!!

Other than that, and the immense heat starting bright and early at 7am, today was really good. Moving away from the orientation aspect (which will still be incorporated from time to time), we have started a more regular week. On Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays, we’ll be doing pastoral care essentially all day. Wednesdays and Thursdays we’ll be in group during the morning and back to pastoral care in the afternoon. So today was all pastoral care. At first I thought it would feel like too much time, but with the three counts that happen while we’re there, not to mention inspection and meals for each building, the time goes by quickly. It is nice to have the periodic breaks to gather my thoughts and talk to my group members and supervisor.

Since I’m still really new at this, I haven’t decided exactly what kind of schedule I want to do or will eventually fall into. For today, I decided to go to each of my ranges and announce to the women that I would be in the dayroom (their commons room) if any of them wanted to talk or set up a time to talk. Since many of the women knew my face by now, I was greeted with a lot of smiles and friendly, “Hey, Chap! How you doing?”s. Our supervisor told us on the first day that our titles (mine being Chaplain Mattson) would very quickly be shortened to “Chap.” I really like it, myself. It makes it sound comfortable, like the women know they can be more lax and informal around me than the officers.

I had a few women who came to see me in the dayroom just to have me pray with them. I must admit, I’ve never felt very confident in my on-the-spot prayers, but I know that the only to get better at them is to do them. None of the women I prayed with seemed to think I did a bad job, so I guess that’s a good start.

One woman told me she was interested in being baptized. Chaplain Bishop, the main chaplain at Metro, does a baptismal service once or twice a year, and anyone interested has to write first write her a letter and then have an interview with her. I asked the woman why she wanted to be baptized, and she told me she wanted to set her life straight, and the way to go about doing that was through Jesus. She said she didn’t know a whole lot about him, but that she wanted to. Then I asked her if she had a bible, because there are several in the Programs building, and we’re allowed to give them away to the women. This woman told me she did have a bible, but that she couldn’t read.

When our group met with the Special Ed teacher at Metro last week, she told us something that I found sad: the prison’s goal is to have all the women at a fifth grade reading level, but that many of the women will never even get to that level. That just makes me so sad that these women made it through several grades of public schooling without being able to read. I mean, how is that even possible? It makes me mad.

Anyway, with the woman who can’t read, I asked her if she would like me to read to her from the bible each week, and she said she’d like that. We set a time for that very afternoon, and for forty-five minutes today, I read parts from Genesis and Matthew to this woman. I think if nothing else, it just meant something to her for someone to take time to read to her. We will continue to do this every Monday afternoon.

After the reading, I finally was able to get to A range in D Building for the first time. The women in D Building are locked in their rooms all day long and can only come out under strict supervision. The doors have a tiny window near eye-level (though still too tall for me, even in my heels) and a small slat about a foot lower that can be opened by the officer. All of the women on this range wanted to talk to me. They were just so desperate for attention and love, and it broke my heart to see how happy a simple five-minute conversation could make them. Most of them didn’t even have anything pressing to tell me; they just wanted someone to talk to. I decided then and there to make sure to visit those women every single day. For some of them, I could be the only person they see all day long.

Tomorrow morning I have the first of a weekly Tuesday morning meeting with another woman from F Building. From the half hour I spent with her in the dayroom, I can tell that she has a lot to say. One comment I got from her, and one that I’ve hear from a few of the women, is that she’s willing to tell me more than she’s told her counselors or the other authority members. I think the women know that we’re on their side, and we’re there to listen to them and support them no matter what they have to say. It’s a really nice feeling to know that they trust us that much. I look forward to what tomorrow will bring. One thing is for sure: no heels!!